I've been alone
by emergencyroom
Summary: Elsa Foss grew up in the happy town of Arendelle with her best friend Jack Frost and loving sister Anna. But when a fatal accident occurs Elsa shuts everybody out, including the ones she loves most. But when Elsa comes much to close with fear she must find a way to trust herself again. Can she do it? Or will she chose the life of safe solitude? (MODERN DAY FANFICTION)


**Chapter 1**

* * *

***Elsa POV***

I've been alone, always have been. Nothing new really.

My name is Elsa Foss, and I am alone. And I like it that way.

"Elsa!" A happy voice called from across the hallway.

I turned my head, but not towards the voice- I had to avoid them. It was my little sister Anna calling my name. She never seemed to give up on trying to talk to me, even though I constantly ignored her. I walked away from her quickly, not looking back.

I practically felt the despair emanating from my kid sister. She needed to realize that I wouldn't- and couldn't- talk to her. Not after what happened.

But I need to slow down, I haven't even told you much about me other than the fact that I'm an extreme dick to my sister and- well, everybody else. I'm a junior in high school at Arendelle High School or AHS for short, and I didn't really interact with people. Because- as much as I hate to say it- I was scared. I was scared of what I am, and what I'm capable of. Long story short I'm a monster, but a monster in disguise.

Somebody bumped into me as I exited the building, knocking my many books out of my hands. As I bent down to pick them up the boy that did the act turned around and smirked at me.

"I wouldn't mind bending you over a table for me." He snarled as he stood in front of me.

I gathered my books and set a long, evil glare on the boy. Some of the confidence in his eyes disappeared- but not completely.

"What's your problem?" He asked, "Playing hard to get?"

I didn't answer I simply fixed my books in my hands and kept my glare going. This was the only way to get them to go away, as much as I didn't like it, it had happen.

"Fine bitch," The boy muttered turning back around and walking out the school doors, following the crowd of students that were leaving for the day.

I let out a long breath, thankful I didn't lose control of _it_.

_Conceal don't feel, don't let it show._ I repeated in my head as I walk for the doors.

When I finally made it to the outside I was met with the beautiful feeling of winter. Snow covered the ground and the wind had a brisk chill to it, but it didn't bother me, it never has.

I started walking down the street towards my house about 3 blocks away from the school when a certain white haired boy ran up next to me.

"Elsa you could at least wait for me once." The boy whined playfully.

I let out a breath, he is my least favorite person to be around- only because he's the hardest to push away.

I didn't look at the boys extremely attractive face, I just kept walking so I didn't blush like I do every time I look at him.

We walked in silence for a moment before he finally spoke up, "Got anything going on?" He asked in a flat voice. He knew he wouldn't get an answer.

His name is Jack, Jack Frost. And he's been walking with me since 2nd grade- before the accident. He was my best friend at one point in time, which is why I couldn't seem to let him go.

"Elsa," He said quietly, I knew what was coming. Every once in a while he tortured both of us and brought up the past. "What happened?" He asked, sounding desperate.

I blinked and looked down at the ground. Nobody could know about what I did, not Anna, and not him.

"Talk to me, I know you can. I know you want to." He sounded so sad it almost broke my heart.

I shook my head, and there was a sudden warmth that grew in my eyes and I knew tears were going to flow out, I couldn't stop it.

I turned my head away from him but he grabbed my chin and gently turned my head back towards him as we stopped walking.

He looked at my face and a lone tear streamed down one of my cheeks, his face softened and he looked sadder than I did, "Oh Els, I didn't mean to make you cry." He said quietly.

I blinked and turned my head away from him. I hated when that would happen- when I would cry in front of him, it probably hurt him more than it hurt me. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but I couldn't- I needed him to leave. I was a danger to him and everybody else.

I began walking again and he started to follow my slow stride, "Say something Elsa, please." He said softly.

I got one of my glares ready, but I couldn't perform it. I couldn't do that to him.

As we approached my large Victorian style house I walked up to the white gate and began pushing it open but stop suddenly. I stood there for a moment, wanting to say something- anything- to Jack. My mouth opened to release the sound of my voice, but I just couldn't speak. I knew I had the capability to, my mind is just smarter than my heart so I stopped. I could feel Jack's eyes on the back of my head, waiting for me to say something. But my legs began moving again and I was suddenly running inside of my house, leaving Jack outside.

As I closed my door I heard Jack mutter "I must be invisible."

I wanted to open that door again and yell something to him that let him know I really do care about him. But I couldn't. There were so many things I just _couldn't _do.

I stood alone in the large house. Anna and I live with our cousin Rapunzel and her family, we have since 4th grade. Anna and Rapunzel are in the same grade (freshman) and they both participate in yearbook so they have it after school every day, which holds them there until 5:00 p.m., and her parents both work until 11:00 p.m. so they don't come home until way later, leaving me in the house alone for a good 3 hours. I'm usually thankful for being alone, I can be myself and not be afraid. But not today, guilt filled my head. But also- fear. Fear was lurking around me.

I sat down on the couch in the living room and stared at my hands, "I'm a terrible person" I whispered in a cracked voice.

"Yes you are" A voice from behind me whispered, making me jump.

I stood from the couch, eyes wide, and hands up in an attack position.

"Calm down," The voice hissed from the shadows, "_Elsa_" it said my name like it is something desirable.

My eyes flashed around the house, the voice was coming from all around me so I didn't know where to attack.

"Behind you" the male voice whispered in my ear, sending chills down my spine.

I span around get ready to attack, but nobody was there.

"Show yourself!" I finally shouted in a stern voice, turning around.

"Alright, fine" The male voice said. A man emerged from the shadows of our kitchen and walked slowly, with his hands in a defeated position.

I narrowed my eyes and set my jaw, "Who are you and how did you get in here?" I asked.

A smirk appeared on the man's face, "I" He began as he motioned to the shadows around him, "am Pitch Black"

My fierce demeanor disappeared as confusion overtook it, and I furrowed my brows.

Pitch Black let out a frustrated sigh and grumbled, "The Boogie Man"

When he said that I understood who he was, but not why he was here. "You're kidding me right?"

"You would only hope I was kidding child." Pitch snarled.

I took in a deep breath and thought about what he'd done earlier, with the coming out of the shadows, and actually believed him.

"Okay, then why are you here?" I asked.

"You have a lot of fear," He hissed walking closer to me, "It's like you're the light and I'm the moth, I just can't help it."

I crinkled my nose and stepped back from him. "What are you talking about?"

"You are afraid of something Elsa, and it is such a large fear, I just can't avoid you." Pitch answered walking casually around my living room.

"What is this 'fear'?" I asked.

Pitch stopped and turned towards me, his hands pressed together in front of his torso, "You would know best."

I blinked and turned my chin a little, not answering.

"You," He began, "You are afraid of hurting the ones you love, like…" He paused for a moment and looked at me, evil in his eyes, "Anna"

My breath hitched as he growled my beloved sister's name. "How do you know who she is?" I asked angry.

"It's all over your mind, her, and Jack Frost of course." Pitch said.

"Jack" I breathed worried about him.

"I am already acquainted with him though, as you may know." Pitch said walking around.

"No, I don't know. What are you talking about?" I asked, getting confused.

"Oh!" Pitch exclaimed, "He hasn't told you?!" He asked sounding surprised.

"Told me what?" I asked. The shadows from everything in the room began bending, my eyes flicked around the room.

"I'll have to leave that to him, you'll find out soon enough- I'm sure." Pitch uttered, "Now what I want to know is- have you told him about your powers?"

I looked at him a moment and was about to ask how he knew about my powers but decided against it.

I looked at the floor, I didn't want to have to say I hadn't told Jack about my powers.

"Oh, you haven't!" Pitch laughed a maniacal laugh that made me cringe when I heard it. "I guess I'll mess with a couple things and he'll know soon enough, and you'll know his secrets as well."

"No, I don't want him to know, and I don't want to know his secrets." I lied about the last part, what was Jack keeping from me?

"Liar" Pitch hissed "You do want to know, I can tell!" began walking towards me.

I stepped back but fell into one of the shadows he was controlling. Everything went black for a moment as I tried to escape it. And when I walked out I was standing on a snowy road in my old neighborhood.

I looked around, confused at what had happened. Just moments ago I was in my living room.

"Pitch!" I yelled, "Show yourself, and take me back home!"

"Watch," His voice whispered in the wind, "Isn't this familiar."

I took a closer look at what was going on, it wasn't currently snowing but the road was covered in snow from an earlier storm. A red sedan turned the corner off to my right and that's when I realized what was happening.

"No, Pitch. Take me home." I whispered.

"No, watch. Look what you did." He whispered.

I tried to look away from the red car coming down the road but something held my eyes on the car.

As it drove closer to me one of the windows opened and I heard a small voice squeak, "Do the magic! Do the magic!"

"Pitch, please." I whispered. I didn't want to relive this.

"Okay, watch this." A voice I recognized as my own from when I was younger said.

My younger self stuck her hand out the window and shot a spot of ice out onto the bridge ahead of them.

"Pretty." Younger Anna breathed looking at the sparkling ice on the bridge's road.

My parents didn't know that I had shot the beam of ice onto the road and where unprepared for it.

As the car drove over it, it swerved.

I saw my mother's eyes open wide as the car turned off to the right of the bridge.

The car began falling over the edge of the bridge and I heard Anna's terrified scream fill the air.

I tried to bring my hands up to cover my eyes but I couldn't move, so a tight knot formed in my throat.

"Elsa! Anna!" My father yelled as the car fell over the edge.

It was like slow motion. I saw my younger self look into the windshield with terrified wide eyed look. Anna scream and cover her eyes. And my father reaching over and grabbing my mother's hand.

"No!" I screamed.

The car fell over the edge and fell through the ice.

My parents were killed the moment the front of the car was crushed on the thick ice, and Anna had been thrown forward and hit her head on the back of the seat, knocking her unconscious.

My younger self was still conscious and alert when the car began to sink in the water. She looked around the car and saw that the front of the car was completely bashed in. Not thinking, she grabbed one of the umbrellas on the floor of their car and broke the window. She grabbed Anna's unconscious body and threw her out the window. She then climbed out herself, right before water engulfed the car and pulled it under.

My younger self sat on the ice holding Anna in her arms and crying.

"It's okay Anna, I've got you." My younger self cried. Anna had lost most of her memory from her blow to the head. She remembered me, but not my powers, and she forgot about our parents completely.

I stood at the top of the bridge looking down.

"Why did you do this?" I muttered, a tear falling down my cheek.

"To show you, the past can't be erased." Pitch hissed.

I swallowed and blinked, but when I opened my eyes I was no longer on the bridge, I was in my living room once more. Alone.

I felt suddenly light headed stumbled over to the couch with my hand on my forehead.

Just as I sat down on the couch the doorbell rang.

I tried to stand but I lost my balance and had to steady myself on the wall. I groped the wall all the way over to the door so I wouldn't fall over.

I opened the door and saw Jack standing there breathless.

"Elsa" He breathed sounding relieved, but sad.

I blinked, confused at why he'd be acting like this.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.

I furrowed my brows at him and he looked me over, narrowing his eyes, "Are you okay?" He asked, seeing I was being supported by the door handle.

I looked down at the door and then back up at him, and was about to nod when he stepped inside and slipped his arm around my waist making me blush but also panic, mostly panic.

He started walking towards the couch before I got a chance to protest.

When we sat down on the couch I let out a long breath, suddenly feeling exhausted.

"Why didn't you tell me Elsa?" Jack repeated not looking at me.

I took a breath and made my decision, "What do you mean?" I asked, speaking to him for the first time in seven years.

His head whipped towards me when I spoke, and a small smile appeared on his face, "I missed your voice." He said.

I looked down, trying to mask my own smile. "What do you mean?" I asked again.

"I know everything Elsa." Jack said.

I looked up at him, "Everything?" I asked.

"I know you have ice powers and how your parents died." Jack said, giving me a sad look, "Elsa, I'm so sorry."

I shook my head and looked the other way, "How did you find out?" I asked.

"Erm…" He mumbled scratching his head, "I don't know if you'll believe me."

"Was it Pitch Black?" I asked

His eyes widened surprised, "How do you know about him Elsa?" He asked sounding serious.

"He paid me a visit. Now what is your secret Jack Frost?" I hedged.

"What?" He asked, looking away.

I tilted my head and raised my eyebrows, giving him an "I'm not buying it" look.

He pursed his lips and wiped his hands his legs, like always does.

"This is gonna sound so crazy Elsa." He warned.

I raised my eyebrows at him expectantly.

"I have ice powers too." Jack said.

I blinked a moment and then looked away.

"I'm not mocking you I promise, I'm not making fun of you or laughing at you. I really do have powers." Jack said quickly.

I didn't move my eyes from the floor.

"Want me to prove it?" He offered.

I looked up at him and nodded.

"Okay, this is going to look weird…. Hang on." He said as he walked outside.

I sat on the couch and waited for him to return, as I waited I realized my eyes where becoming heavy. I yawned and rested my elbow on the couch and leaned my chin on my hand.

Just as my eyes were closing Jack came back inside and walked into the living room with a stick, or a staff.

"Okay, watch." He said holding the staff up, and pointing it at the wall.

A sudden burst of light and the wall was glazed over with ice.

I gasped and looked over at the wall.

Jack looked at me expectantly for a second, and when I didn't say anything panic filled his eyes, "Say something." He said.

I looked back up at him and said, "I believe you" awkwardly, of course I believed him- he just covered my wall in ice!

He let out a relieved sigh, then hesitated before saying, "Can you show me your powers?"

I blinked then looked down again.

"It's okay if you don't want to, I- uh, I understand if you don't want to." He said awkwardly.

I shook my head and stood up, I haven't used my powers in seven years- I kind of wanted to.

I stood and walked to the back door before walking outside into our backyard. Jack followed behind not speaking.

"Stay there." I said quietly when we reached our porch.

He stood obediently on the porch as I walked down the steps into the backyard.

I walked into the middle of it, and let out a deep breath and lifted my arm into the air so it was above my head.

_Conceal don't feel_ a small voice in my head whispered.

I closed my eyes a moment before opening them again, a small smile on my face.

_Just this once, for Jack_.

I released my powers, shooting small flurries above my head, making the sky glitter with the falling snow.

I saw Jack gasp, a big grin covering his face.

"Els, you're amazing." He breathed.

I smiled at him using my nickname.

He looked down from the sky and met my eyes and his gaze changed a little, to what I don't know. But it was good. It looked like it went from admiration to… lust, oddly enough.

I blushed at his gaze and looked down feeling bashful.

I felt Jack walk in front of me, not just in front of me though, his face was inches away from mine when I looked up. He was a little taller than me so he was bending down a little.

"Are you… blushing?" He asked quietly, with his eyes narrowed.

My eyes widened and I looked down, blushing even more.

He smiled, "You are!" He said happily, "Elsa Foss, can blush!" He laughed leaning away from me.

I missed him, seven years without genuinely talking to this boy has made me feel hallow.

"Hey Els" Jack said as we walked inside.

"Hm?" I asked looking up at him.

"Never do that to me again, okay?" Jack said quietly.

"What?" I asked worried.

"Ignore me, shut me out." Jack said as we stopped walking.

I looked away feeling guilty, "I'm so sorry Jack." I said in a cracked voice.

"Hey, I understand. You went through a lot." Jack said quickly, cupping my face in his hands. "That's just something you can't go through on your own Elsa. You should've talked to me."

I nodded as a tear fell down my cheek. Jack lifted one of his hands from my cheek and brushed off the tear.

"Don't cry Els." He said quietly, pulling me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Jack" I sobbed repeating myself, I really did miss him.

He pulled me tighter and placed a hand on my head, "It's fine, I'm here now okay?"

I nodded into his chest, calming down a little.

_Hey Elsa! Feel those muscles! Yeah, hot!_ The voice in my head screamed, I turned bright read at feeling how strong his chest really was.

When I let go of him I still had a little bit of tears falling from my eyes, but I was calmer now. Too calm.

I suddenly felt overwhelmingly tired.

I lifted a hand to my eyes and rubbed them, not doing myself any good.

"You okay?" Jack asked noticing my behavior.

"Yeah…. I'm just… really tired." I said in between yawns.

Jacks eyes filled with concern, "Were you this tired earlier?" He asked seriously.

I shook my head no and walked over to the couch.

"Oh no…" Jack muttered. "Hold on Elsa, stay awake for a just a second." He said walking over to the back door.

"Why?" I asked, my knees where feeling wobbly.

"This isn't good- hold on, stay awake." Jack muttered walking outside.

I leaned on the back the couch and looked outside just in time to see Jack fly into the air, _I'm way too tired, I must be imagining things_. I thought.

I felt my knees start to wobble even more and I tried to hold onto the edge of the couch, but I was just too tired. _Where did Jack go? And why do I have to stay awake?_ I thought.

The back door flew open once again and in flew Jack and a short… golden man.

Just as they walked up to me my knees gave out and I fell, but not to the floor.

"Elsa, don't fall asleep yet." Jack said, holding me in his arms.

I was too tired to realize I was being cradled by him.

The golden man walked up to us and nodded, not saying anything.

"Ready?" Jack asked.

My eyes were too heavy to hold open, they slowly closed.

"Now Sandy" I heard Jack order from behind my closed eyes.

Then everything went completely dark and I was dreaming.


End file.
